Well, I have more to report than what went on tonight. For one thing, I've absolutely not been going to the gym. I think it's just too far. However, the university I go to has a decent gym, certainly good enough for my needs, and I intend to start going there on a regular basis. I'm going to pick up my stuff from the LifeCenter gym tomorrow and I've told my Dad to pull my membership there. It did me no good, though... I can't really blame it. I didn't put it to any use.
I'm trying to schedule things. It's not just about eating and exercising. That sounds great, of course, but just saying that I'm going to do that does me little good. As well, starting to do it is nice and all, but after a while things peter off. Exercising especially. I've managed to change my diet for the better, make things stick. The diet soda thing, for example.
But I believe in order to make things work for me, I need a schedule. I need to change my life. A schedule starts that kind of change. Unfortunately, there are a lot of changes I want to make. For example, I have it in my mind that I need to start standing more than I sit. (I sit all the time) I want to spend most of my time standing. Is that possible? I'm not really sure. I'm starting school soon and I'm sure my professors won't appreciate me standing up in class.
I think scheduling will work better. Something else that I am instituting, already in progress is going to the beach once a week. Doing this allows me to exercise quite a bit. Not so much on the beach, but in the ocean. I can walk and walk and walk, it's more like running or jogging really. I don't need to break for a long time. I think what I want to do is go to the northern tip of Ocean City and start water walking around to the Ocean side, and continue to water walk my way down the island. Then, when I do get tired, take a break, and then water walk my way back up. If I don't get tired, I can just start walking back up when I reach the midpoint of the day.
I won't be able to swim though. I tore my bicep in my right arm. That's painful! Just another sign of what a pitiful wretch I am. The good news is that it isn't bad. Normally, it's pretty bad, but I'm bouncing back quickly. There was no swelling or bruising and I have most use of my arm back. There is still pain and I am a little limited (like no swimming) but I'm sure things will improve with time, and until then I can still exercise.
I want to schedule in 30 minutes of exercise a day, at the gym or not. This means Saturday and Sunday too. Whether I'll go to the gym then or not, I don't know.
Another thing I've been doing is making it to Weight Watchers every week. This week marked a month. And more importantly, this week, unlike the other weeks, I actually lost weight. I lost 9.2 lbs. I now weigh 523.4 lbs. (As you can see, comparing to previous entries, I had gained some weight back)
I've also been going to an addiction recovery meeting every week at my church. They use a variation of the twelve step program designed for mormons. So, I've been there every week for a month now as well. The two people are running it are married, they are a older missionary couple, and pretty nice at that. There was a confrontation with them last week. One of their biggest things is that they do not judge anyone in the meeting. The insist there is no judgement, no matter is said or anything.
Of course, that's not really possible, but I get the point. Anyway, I get a call from the Elder one morning and we talked for a minute, and he said that he wanted to talk about the previous week. This call took place on the morning of the day that the meeting takes place. The previous week I had a bunch of things going on that day, and I'd sat through a Weight Watcher's meeting (I usually do that on a different day, but there had been complication, as will happen) and because I was hungry I'd opened a bag of cheese curls during the meeting (Weight Watcher's makes them). This is nothing new. People are welcome to eat at the Weight Watcher's meetings, though I imagine they wouldn't want you to bring in a piece of pizza from next door. But eating their products, or even a healthy food like a vegetable or fruit, would be fine. And it was. But I didn't gobble it down. I'm trying not to do that. I ate through the packet slowly. It was a one serving pouch that is worth two points on the Weight Watcher's points system.
Well, when the meeting was over, I still wasn't done with the cheese curls. So I took them with me to the next meeting, at church, which is right down the road from Weight Watchers. I got into the meeting, and I ate the rest of the bag. Nobody seemed to pay any mind, which I expected. I hadn't even really thought about it.
But here I am on the phone with the Elder and he wants to talk about the previous week. I don't even know why. I hadn't really said anything, and maybe that's what he wanted to talk about. But no, he was concerned about me bringing food into the meeting because my addiction is overeating. He told me, verbatim: "that's like an alcoholic bring a beer to the meeting".
Naturally, I had to disagree with this. I assumed, and I would think some would agree with me, that this was simply a misunderstanding, a situation taken out of context. After all, the pouch the cheese curls were in was a silver pouch with no plainly visible words on it. To the average observer, it would just be apparent I was eating some kind of cheese curl. So I tried to explain that this was a Weight Watcher's snack, made specifically for the people following that plan. I was told that doesn't matter, it's still the same thing. I disagreed. For one thing, an alcoholic does not need to imbibe alcohol, nor does anyone ever need to do so. Any person can go through their entire life with a drop of the stuff and they will have no problems as a result. You don't need it to live.
And I was hungry. I tried to explain, but that didn't matter. It was still the same, and furthermore, it was a distraction. I didn't agree with him there either, but being the diplomat that I am, I saw an opportunity, and agreed not to bring food in anymore on account of the fact that it distracts people. We said our goodbye and hung up.
Moments later I called back. It had just hit me. What's all this horseshit about not judging people about??? That's exactly what he just did. Oh sure, I can understand why. All he saw was a fat guy who admits to having a problem, and there he is indulging said problem! But I explained the misunderstanding. And in any case, how hard would it have been to ask about that food? What exactly was I eating? Oh, it was a weight watcher's food? Well, maybe I should mind my own goddamn business then and not go judging you.
But no, I laid it out for him, and he still insisted that I was like a drunk bringing a drink. So I called back, and I restated that because he finds it distracting, I would keep my promise not to bring food in, and that I would be there that night, but that I felt that I need him to keep up his end of the bargain and to "practice what you preach". I reminded him how strong a point he and his wife had made about being judgemental, and I accused him of hypocrisy. He assured me that he was not being judgemental and to back up his point (poorly, I might add) he told me that he had contacted his superiors in the program to discuss this and ask how to go about handling it, and they had told him to do exactly what he did.
Well, honestly, if he hadn't thought that he was perhaps judging me, would he have even thought about asking for guidance from a superior? If he hadn't judged me, what then would have to ask about? I reiterated that his judgement was wrong because this snack had been produced by Weight Watcher's and was a part of the plan. This was a part of the solution. A beer is never part of the solution for an alcoholic. He was adamant, he had not judged and I was wrong for bringing any kind of food to the meeting.
I gave him a few choice words and told him that if he didn't have the good sense God gave him to see the difference, that there was no point in talking further. There are intelligent people to talk to, after all. I hung up on him midsentence.
Being full of indignance, I got dressed and sought vindication. I started with my mother. My sister was there as well, but I wasn't looking to her for support. I told my mother about the situation. She agreed with the Elder. Why was I bringing food to a meeting when I'm trying to stop eating. You know...anyone that would try to stop eating...*sigh* So, I figured to hell with it. I couldn't believe my own Mother...just fucking wow.
So the day went on and I got ready to leave for the meeting. On the way out Dad and I were talking, and for some God forsaken reason, I ended up telling him, or starting to tell him the story, starting with the backstory about how I ended up bringing the snack in. I never got to bringing it in. He was shocked that I would eat something BEFORE going to that meeting, let alone during it. I pointed out again, this is a weight watcher snack, didn't matter. Why I was surprised, I don't know. My Dad's got about as much goddamned sense as a fucking rock, especially when it comes to other people. If someone had given him shit instead of me, he would have understood perfectly, he would have been right, even if he was wrong.
I ended the conversation, telling him essentially the same thing I told the Elder, if you don't have the sense to recognize the difference...Then he said "sounds like it's you who doesn't see the difference!" Really. This is why I shouldn't have been upset. His best comeback was something to expect out of a 3rd grader. "No, I don't stink! You do! You! You!"
Then, he started talking about how he was going to retire soon and how he would be selling the house and moving somewhere without extra bedrooms, and I wouldn't be coming. Seriously, what the fuck is that? I don't even know why he would bring that up then. The only thing I can figure was he was trying to pick something he could say that would hurt me, and that was the best he could come up with? I don't know. Maybe it was the most hurtful thing he could say without really fucking things up between us. I was more than a little baffled.
At the time Mom was making BLT's, with real bacon, which we never have around the house, and I don't know why she was using it then. But I figured a few BLT's couldn't hurt. She asked if I wanted one or...I responded by saying "No, I'll be damned if I eat EVEN one!" and stormed out of the house, acutely aware that no matter how lightly I tried to tread, it sounded very much like I was stomping my feet. That's embarrassing.
So I went to the meeting, and was met by the shock that registered on the Elder's face. He was sure I wouldn't be coming. I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of not showing up. Besides, I felt like this meeting could really help me, and what good would I be doing buy not going anymore? It would cause problems at home, and it would do me no good in general. Better that I go. The disbelief on his face vindicated more than I could really have hoped for. This week he all but apologized. Twice I thought he was going to, but he couldn't really seem to bring himself to do it. Guess apologizing isn't one his strong suits. Turns out he's a former cop, so that's not such a big surprise, really.
As for tonight, well, I went to my addiction meeting, and then afterward I went to karaoke, like I do every other week. My friend and his gf were there. We had a good time, I got to sing four songs, which I haven't done there in a long time, because the MC doesn't like to do his job right. I guess maybe enough people bitched about it. We'll see next week.
We had a new waitress tonight. Maybe she's been there before, I don't know for sure. But it was the first time I saw her, or not, maybe I'd seen her before but didn't really notice, I don't know, I can be oblivious.
She was the younger sister of one of the bartenders, so they called her Junior. That's what we'll call her now. It was on her name tag after all. She was attractive, but I didn't pay much mind. There is another girl that goes, she's kind of a hick girl, but I like that. No perfect body, she has some flab, but it looks good on her, I think. She moves very well. She has flab but she's not a fat girl. She wears a camo cap, jeans and a shirt that doesn't go all the way down. She has a deer head tattooed on her back. She carried a can of dip in her back pocket. I don't mean French Onion. I mean SKOAL!!! I think I might dedicate a Cledus T Judd song for her one week. I wonder if they have Skoal! (to the tune of the Grundy County Auction). Anyway, this girl is nice, but she does have a boyfriend. And she's friendly ok, but she doesn't seem overly interested in me. I buy her a drink from time to time and she appreciates it. Mostly we exchange nods, and sometimes she comes and sits down with me for a few minutes. Maybe we talk, if there's something to talk about.
Anyway, I decided tonight I was going to tell her I'm attracted to her. I mean, I buy her drinks, that's pretty much a sign of that. She's gotta know I'm checking her out. I don't think it will come as a surprise. But I never got around to that. But I became more and more interested in my waitress as the night grew. It started with flattery. She asked me to sing a song. Well, first she asked if I was singing again, after I had just sung one. She told me she loves it when I sing. She asked what I was singing and I told her she could choose from the two songs I had already written out. I had written out a Guns and Roses song and a Adam Sandler song. She wasn't really interested in either of them. She wanted something country, like Charlie Daniels. So I told her to pick one. She said Charlie Daniels. I asked which one. I figured she wouldn't really say The Devil Went Down to Georgia. But she did. Ok, I'd have preferred to sing something like "The Fightin Side of Me" or something, but whatever, I put it in. It occurred to me I needed to get her name. I did get her real name, but she explained the Junior thing. When I got called up to sing it, I noticed she was waiting a booth and both of her arms were occupied by the occupants of the booth. I mean two people were grabbing her arms. i slapped one of the hands away from her and told the guy "Hey, no touchin' the moichandise!" I got to the Mike and said "This is dedicated to my waitress, Junior, who's currently being manhandled!"
I sang the song. It wasn't my best. You have to practice that song, it moves fast. But it was well received and she liked it. I mentioned to her that she needs to put a sign on her saying "No touching the goods". She laughed it off and explained that she knew one of the guys and he was ok. The other one was just touching her arm and as long as he didn't touch anything too personal she was fine with letting him get good and drunk so he could tip her well.
I saw nothing wrong with that, but I had to tease her, so I asked where I could touch her. She indicated her back and her side, and that's where I touched her.
I still hadn't ordered anything to eat at this point (I had ordered the endless chips and salsa, I always do) so when she came back and asked if I wanted anything, I said "You". She seemed fine with that too, and we laughed, ha ha ha...I thought she took the sexual harassment pretty well, as did the others at my table.
There was some other action going on, in fact, this was a hell of a night for entertainment. A bunch of suits had shown up, apparently, they do so every three months. (End of quarter celebration?) One of them had a girl with him, they appeared to be together, kissed occasionally. But he kept trying to grab her ass, and every time he got his hand on there, she'd slide it off. We had a good time watching for this, and laughing at his expense. I got the waitress in on it, though she was a little more concerned with what one of the suits was saying/ trying to do with/to her sister. She sat down next to me and we watched him, ready to kick some ass. Never got the chance.
We became more and more friendly. I had ordered by this point. She asked again if there was anything she could get me. I suggested her number. She didn't laugh, just raised her eyebrow at me. The ass grabber managed to get a hand on his girl's ass for a second, then it came off. She pointed out it was an ass brush and not an ass grab. I said "wait, show me how this works again" and pretended to put my hand on her's. Again, some laughter, along with what you might call a rather meaninglful look. I didn't know if I was really doing well or if she was just working for her tip (I really hoped the former, because the latter would make me feel rather scummy) but I was having fun.
She came back later as the night wound down with the check. I asked her if her number was on it. She said she didn't have a cell phone. Said that Sprint had wanted 300 or they were going to turn her phone off and she told them to go for it. She asked me to give her mine though...I've heard that line before. But I gave it to her anyway, and I mentioned facebook. I'm on facebook. Not giving the information out. But she gave me her name and told me to hit her up there and myspace. (Really? People still use myspace? Why??)
I had a little confrontation with another girl at the bar, a little misunderstanding really, though she'd been really bitchy about it. I didn't want any bad blood, as she was friends with some karaoke buddies of mine (including the tobacco chewing hick girl that I was oddly attracted to) so I thought I'd buy her a drink to smooth things over. Apparently, my waitress had witnessed the exchange and was not thrilled about me buying this girl a drink. No she flat out refused to let me. Even threatened to put something nasty in the girl's drink. So I gave up on that, and I offered to by my waitress a drink. She said I couldn't because she wasn't off duty. I asked when she was off duty. She told me 1Am, when the bar shuts down. That wasn't what I meant, I wanted her days off. But I said ok, and invited her to Denny's with us. Turns out she has a kid that she has to go home to. If she was saying that to deter me, it wasn't working. I'm fine with kids. In fact, I'd like to have kids at some point and I know my folks are chomping at the bit to be grandparents, so a girl that already has kids is ok with me.
So I pointed out what I wanted, her days off and she told me. Turns out Tuesday is one of those days and my friends had wanted to try quizzo out which is on Tuesdays. Of course, she wouldn't want to be there on her day off, would she? Turns out that IS where she hangs out when she's not on. Probably gets a discount.
So I asked if I could buy her a drink on Tuesday and play quizzo with her, and she was all for it. Out of concern (that I might just be jerking off, really) I asked if she was involved with someone. She said no, and I showed my relief, stating I don't want to be wooing a married woman. She showed me her hands, and I took advantage of the situation to hold one of them. Tentatively, if you can imagine tentatively holding someone's hand. That's how I held it and she smiled, blushed even, and cosed her hand on mine, and (oh boy is THIS sappy!) held my hand for a few moments, until she needed to get up again.
We talked again for a few minutes and cemented the quizzo date and I left. So what was that? Real flirtation on both parts? Is it possible she finds herself attracted to me? Like i am to her? Even close? Could it be she's looked past my weight and seen what's really there? Or was she doing it for the tip? I don't want to think that. I don't want to think i got played like that, and I think she's worked there for a while. She seemed to know who I was, and I think everyone there knows I'm a good tipper. She really didn't get much more out of me than anyone else would have. Between the three of us, there was a 65 dollar check. I gave her 80. Thats barely more than 20% which is about what I tip.
Was she doing it for a free drink or two on Tuesday? Jesus that would be shallow. Is she doing for regular business, like a fucking stripper? I hope not, because that's worse than my normal fuckups, meeting some girl online and being heartbroken when she sees me in person and realizes what a mistake she's made. I've had women play me for the business and it truly hurts. It's absolutely humiliating.
I hope that's not what I'm looking at.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Back from Weight Watchers
Not much to report there. They were talking about activity, but mostly making suggestions about what kind of activities we can do in the summer (now). I just love when they suggest using the Wii for exercise. Oh, I know, some people like it, and maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not about to go that route.
I did get my weight. It's gone up. A few weeks ago I went and they had apparently decided they were going "green"! Oh boy. Basically this means they don't want to supply the paper towels anymore. So, either you wear socks on the scale or a pair of sandals. I wear sandals, so that works for me. But my weight went up which was a little confusing at the time. I weighed the sandals and holy cow! Two pounds! Turns out I had lost a little instead.
So, today, no surprises. I'm still wearing the sandals, but I know to expect the extra two pounds. Turns out I had gained again. I wasn't too surprised by that, but the lady weighing me thought to ask if I had eaten or drunk anything before I came in. I had eaten a banana and a bottle and a half of water. Weighing the water, it appears I may not have gained after all, but I'm not putting much faith in that. If it is true, then it will be a nice loss when I go back next week.
But not on Friday. Thursday is out too, because of the addict's meeting and karaoke. Monday may soon be a bad idea as well.
So, I figure Tuesday may be the best idea, an evening meeting, later is probably better than early. And to save on gas, I'll make Tuesday a gym day, so I'll can hit Weight Watcher's on my way back.
I also need to schedule some cigar time at my cigar shop. They have a nice VIP lounge for members, like myself, and being there and smoking cigars helps me to avoid cigarettes. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense to you, but I'm addicted to tobacco and I know it. But weight has to be my first priority. I don't inhale the cigars and I don't like cigarettes. So it works in my favor to smoke the cigars, instead of the cigarettes, which in turn will help my exercise as well, since I won't be inhaling all that smoke.
I did get my weight. It's gone up. A few weeks ago I went and they had apparently decided they were going "green"! Oh boy. Basically this means they don't want to supply the paper towels anymore. So, either you wear socks on the scale or a pair of sandals. I wear sandals, so that works for me. But my weight went up which was a little confusing at the time. I weighed the sandals and holy cow! Two pounds! Turns out I had lost a little instead.
So, today, no surprises. I'm still wearing the sandals, but I know to expect the extra two pounds. Turns out I had gained again. I wasn't too surprised by that, but the lady weighing me thought to ask if I had eaten or drunk anything before I came in. I had eaten a banana and a bottle and a half of water. Weighing the water, it appears I may not have gained after all, but I'm not putting much faith in that. If it is true, then it will be a nice loss when I go back next week.
But not on Friday. Thursday is out too, because of the addict's meeting and karaoke. Monday may soon be a bad idea as well.
So, I figure Tuesday may be the best idea, an evening meeting, later is probably better than early. And to save on gas, I'll make Tuesday a gym day, so I'll can hit Weight Watcher's on my way back.
I also need to schedule some cigar time at my cigar shop. They have a nice VIP lounge for members, like myself, and being there and smoking cigars helps me to avoid cigarettes. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense to you, but I'm addicted to tobacco and I know it. But weight has to be my first priority. I don't inhale the cigars and I don't like cigarettes. So it works in my favor to smoke the cigars, instead of the cigarettes, which in turn will help my exercise as well, since I won't be inhaling all that smoke.
I'm back...again
So why have I seemingly abandoned my blog for most fo the month of July? I guess I haven't done much that's "diety". Got a workout on the fourth of July, finding a spot to set up camp for the concert at Cooper River Park (Foghat and Marshall Tucker Band), then moving to another spot, because everyone else wanted to camp out elsewhere, then moving back to the original spot because we had a canopy and couldn't put it up where they wanted to, and moving again because our spot was too close to some port a potties, and finally setting up in the spot we ended up at.
Since then, I've claimed to go to the gym but haven't. I've made it to karaoke every week without fail, even have some friends going with me now.
My newest development is an addictions recovery program at my church. They understand my addiction is overeating (and under excersizing, I guess) and I'll be there every Thursday before karaoke.
I think part of the problem is a schedule. For one thing, I need to stick to this blog, it can help to keep me honest. I also need to make a schedule, that involves not only karaoke, but weight watchers, the addictions recovery program and the gym. I took my measurement the other day, by the way, I came up with 67 inches. Not sure how that compares to my last measurement, I'll have to go back and look. Don't know what my exact weight is. Going to look at meetings for today and probably go to one.
I'll update on how things are going, and how the plan is working.
Einstein said two things I really like:
1. Life is like a bicycle: In order to maintain balance, you must keep moving.
2. Blind respect for authority is the enemy of truth.
Since then, I've claimed to go to the gym but haven't. I've made it to karaoke every week without fail, even have some friends going with me now.
My newest development is an addictions recovery program at my church. They understand my addiction is overeating (and under excersizing, I guess) and I'll be there every Thursday before karaoke.
I think part of the problem is a schedule. For one thing, I need to stick to this blog, it can help to keep me honest. I also need to make a schedule, that involves not only karaoke, but weight watchers, the addictions recovery program and the gym. I took my measurement the other day, by the way, I came up with 67 inches. Not sure how that compares to my last measurement, I'll have to go back and look. Don't know what my exact weight is. Going to look at meetings for today and probably go to one.
I'll update on how things are going, and how the plan is working.
Einstein said two things I really like:
1. Life is like a bicycle: In order to maintain balance, you must keep moving.
2. Blind respect for authority is the enemy of truth.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I'''''m Baaaaaaaaack!
Not that anyone's reading.
But in the last post I mentioned that if you don't hear from me for a while, I might just be dead. Thought it would be good to point out I've just been busy.
The day I last posted marked the beginning of a short vacation in which I visited an old friend of mine. I just got back a few days ago. I had planned to post updates along the week that I was gone, but as it turns out, my friend has neither cable or internet. To top it off, my laptop chose that time to stop responding to my power adapter. Thankfully, my buddy's stepdaughter's computer was in the house and her power adapter was compatible with my laptop.
I didn't really get out to the gym much, really just to set up my locker (I am now renting a locker there) and go for a swim.
So there's not been much exercise, but what about the diet? Well, I brought some Weight Watcher's snacks with me for the vacation, so that I wouldn't have to worry about being hungry. Honestly, I didn't need them much. I didn't eat well, but while I was at my friend's I didn't indulge myself too much. Though we did go out to a buffet one evening, even then I didn't stuff myself too much.
However, at the end of my mini-vaca, I stopped at a place I've been dying to try - "Simply Fondue".
They have an extensive Martini selection, and they offer a four course meal starting with a salad, an appetizer that comes with a bowl of melted cheese and sauce, along with vegetables, fruit, and bread to dip in.
Then the main course consists of three meats of your choosing and a plate of vegetables. The fondue grill is used to heat a pot of oil that you cook the food in.
The dessert is peices of fruit, marshmallow and cake. And you can choose from 14 different chocalate sauces to dip the dessert in.
Obviously, this is pretty filling stuff.
Anyway, I don't know how far my weight went up this week yet, as I haven't been to Weight Watcher's, I'm going in a few hours.
I'll take my measurements as well, though I imagine there won't be much difference.
In conclusion, I haven't been to the gym for real in a week. No treadmill, etc. I can't let mysellf drop the exercise regimine. I have to get back on the ball.
Of course, part of the problem is that tomorrow marks the beginning of another mini vacation, this time I'll be spending the weekend plus change with some other friends of mine, for the 4th of July. Not sure that will turn out, but I'll be sure to comment on it here.
But in the last post I mentioned that if you don't hear from me for a while, I might just be dead. Thought it would be good to point out I've just been busy.
The day I last posted marked the beginning of a short vacation in which I visited an old friend of mine. I just got back a few days ago. I had planned to post updates along the week that I was gone, but as it turns out, my friend has neither cable or internet. To top it off, my laptop chose that time to stop responding to my power adapter. Thankfully, my buddy's stepdaughter's computer was in the house and her power adapter was compatible with my laptop.
I didn't really get out to the gym much, really just to set up my locker (I am now renting a locker there) and go for a swim.
So there's not been much exercise, but what about the diet? Well, I brought some Weight Watcher's snacks with me for the vacation, so that I wouldn't have to worry about being hungry. Honestly, I didn't need them much. I didn't eat well, but while I was at my friend's I didn't indulge myself too much. Though we did go out to a buffet one evening, even then I didn't stuff myself too much.
However, at the end of my mini-vaca, I stopped at a place I've been dying to try - "Simply Fondue".
They have an extensive Martini selection, and they offer a four course meal starting with a salad, an appetizer that comes with a bowl of melted cheese and sauce, along with vegetables, fruit, and bread to dip in.
Then the main course consists of three meats of your choosing and a plate of vegetables. The fondue grill is used to heat a pot of oil that you cook the food in.
The dessert is peices of fruit, marshmallow and cake. And you can choose from 14 different chocalate sauces to dip the dessert in.
Obviously, this is pretty filling stuff.
Anyway, I don't know how far my weight went up this week yet, as I haven't been to Weight Watcher's, I'm going in a few hours.
I'll take my measurements as well, though I imagine there won't be much difference.
In conclusion, I haven't been to the gym for real in a week. No treadmill, etc. I can't let mysellf drop the exercise regimine. I have to get back on the ball.
Of course, part of the problem is that tomorrow marks the beginning of another mini vacation, this time I'll be spending the weekend plus change with some other friends of mine, for the 4th of July. Not sure that will turn out, but I'll be sure to comment on it here.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Updates and new features
A few changes going on around here.
For one thing, I'll be including my weight every week. Today I went to weight watcher's and got weighed. My official weight today is 528.6lbs.
I was 550 at one point, and I haven't managed to screw up enough to make all that weight back, but I still have a long way to go until I'm anywhere near healthy.
Yesterday I almost didn't work out. I've been penniless for about a month because of a snafu with my unemployment. I didn't get the money until today and yesterday my truck's gas tank was all but empty. So the night before, I asked my mother if she would fill up the tank. My folks are ok with helping out with the gas because of how much I burn going to my Dad's gym. (Not sure if I explained this, it's not his like he owns it, it's his company's gym.)
She needed to fill up in the morning so she said she would wake me up to come with her. She woke me up around 7. That was real pleasant; Because I'm such a loser, with no job et al, I normally sleep til about 1 in the afternoon.
She got me up at seven so I could help her put a new mat on the trampoline for my sister. (The mat is the part you jump on.) We had to disconnect all the rusty, stubborn springs and then reattach them to the new mat.
Mom had trouble once mat was almost done. At that point, the mat is really stretched, and holds on tight to the last springs. I did most of the work putting the mat back on. That was tougher than taking it off. You have to stretch out the spring, and hook it onto the metal dooohicky on the mat. Not to mention making sure they are spaced right. You can't do one after the other, it's like putting on a tire. If you mess up the spacing, you have to remove that spring and do it again.
When I was done my shoulders were seriously aching, like they were raw, like someone had hammered a pole through them, front to back.
I considered skipping the gym yesterday as a result of this, and decided to go to weight watcher's instead. As I was getting ready to go, I noticed Mom was heading somewhere as well. Turns out she was heading to the gym at the University I go to. I figured what the hell, and hitched a ride with her.
I've never been to the gym at my college. I've only gone one semester, and I never made the time to hit the gym. I have been inside, just to look around, and it looks nice, but I was in for a surprise.
The first problem I realized was that I didn't bring my mp3 player. No fucking way I'm exercising without my music. Yes, I know they play their music, and sometimes there's a good song, and sometimes you're listening to bullshit, and it's not loud enough to keep my mind occupied anyway. Mom has an iPod, but the screen doesn't work and it was repeating all Al Green songs. I like Al Green, but not over and over and over.
I decided I would figure it out, and we went inside. I flashed my card and she filled out a form. Since she's an alumni, she gets a nice discount. For me, it's free.
I realized quickly that this place is nothing like my Dad's gym. For one thing, at Dad's gym, the towels are complimentary. All of them - handtowels, washcloths and large towel for after your shower. At the University gym, you can rent a hand towel. That's it. Otherwise, you bring your own.
You gotta rent a lock too, or bring your own, or you ca n just leave it up to luck that you're szhit won't get stolen. The lockers aren't big enough for my bag, which is really a small suitcase. I know that sounds like a woman thing, but I not only keep my workout clothes in there, but my sneakers in the there and my swimming clothes and sandals for walking around the locker room and shower. I need some room. And this bag wasn't going to fit, and I wasn't leaving it out. Also, I had no towel with me and I wasn't going to work out and then not shower!
So, I met up with Mom and told her I wasn't going to work out. She wasn't happy about this, and we argued about it. She offered to let me use her towel, and she would shower when she got home. She offered to rent me a lock and a towel. Still no dice. I sat down and started fiddling with the iPod, I got it to change bands, I could get it to go on shuffle. It just kept repeating bands.
Mom found me again and offered to wait for me outside the locker room, and put my bag in her car while we worked out, then bring it back in again when we were done. (For the record, my mom is a saint!) That did it. Except for the iPod. She fiddled with it for a minutes, and managed to get it on shuffle, without a screen, even!
The worst part about that is when I got down to the locker room and started changing, I realized that in the pocket of my workout shorts, was my mp3 player.
The workout was ok. I was already a little sore, especially in my shoulders, but I grinned and bore it. I finished mine well before mom finished hers. My middle walk (the main one) broke 8 minutes, so things are pretty much back to normal. I just needed to hold back a little and not push it.
The equipment at this gym is different than Dad's, though. In between walks on the treadmill, at Dad's gym, I use a set of machines that use air pressure instead of weights. They didn't have that at the U(University) Gym and I really didn't know what to do in between sets. I just sat there until I was ready to hop on again. As a result my workout went even faster than normal.
I will say this though - the treadmills are better at the U Gym. At Dad's gym the treadmill's track is narrow, and my feet keep rubbing the sides, and threatening to rip up the hard plastic that borders the tread.
At the U Gym, the track is wide, nice and wide, the whole machine is, and my thighs never bump into the side, a problem I have at Dad's gym, as it causes my mp3 player to skip to the next song.
So there was an upside. The locker room was the biggest downside. To begin with, it stunk. At Dad's gym, they go out of their way to make it seem like any other room, with a normal smell. At the U Gym, I felt like I was back in High School again.
I went into the shower and found that they had a handicap shower, which is good. I can sit down for my shower. But no soap. And I didn't bring any. What a bitch!
So I just washed real good with water, and laid a little heavy on the Axe deoderant. As I left though, something caught my eye in the shower area. All the shower spots had soap dispensers, like the ones by the sink in public restrooms, all of them, except the handicap one!
I mentioned it at the front desk, I assume that will be remedied soon.
Not a bad deal, but I was truly sore last night, and more than happy to go to bed around midnight.
I woke up at 8AM today feeling pretty good. I checked my account online, and the money has shown! But only half of it. But half is something. It allows me a haircut, shopping, etc.
It has gone to a lot of good use today. And there's still some left.
I talked to unemployment. They don't know why the other half didn't go through, they are going to try and push it through.
I went to Weight Watchers this morning. The last time I went was last month and I've lost 5 pounds since then. (My official weight, again being 528.6 lbs.)
I also bought a tape measure. That's the other feature. Periodically, maybe every week, I will measure my waist. Maybe other parts too! (Don't be dirty, I meant like my legs and my chest.)
It was tough finding the right tape measure. mostly they only came in sewing kits and the longest one was only 5 feet long. (Riiiight...ONLY 5 FEET!) But I found one that was sold alone, that was 10 feet long, and I got that. Standing up, my waist is 69 inches around. Tha t's about 5 feet, 9 inches. Around. Interestingly enough, I'm only 6ft tall, which means I'm only about 3 inches taller than I am round. Pretty fucking sad. But the whole point is to see the numbers go down, right?
Or maybe for you folks out there, see them go up. Until one day, you just don't hear from me anymore, because I'm dead.
My family gets on my case all the time about smoking. I used to smoke cigarettes, now I smoke cigars. They get upset about my drinking too! I tell them, do you really think smoking can kill me? Drinking? They have my weight to contend with, and my weight's kicking the shit out of them. I'll die from my weight LONG BEFORE drinking or smoking!
For one thing, I'll be including my weight every week. Today I went to weight watcher's and got weighed. My official weight today is 528.6lbs.
I was 550 at one point, and I haven't managed to screw up enough to make all that weight back, but I still have a long way to go until I'm anywhere near healthy.
Yesterday I almost didn't work out. I've been penniless for about a month because of a snafu with my unemployment. I didn't get the money until today and yesterday my truck's gas tank was all but empty. So the night before, I asked my mother if she would fill up the tank. My folks are ok with helping out with the gas because of how much I burn going to my Dad's gym. (Not sure if I explained this, it's not his like he owns it, it's his company's gym.)
She needed to fill up in the morning so she said she would wake me up to come with her. She woke me up around 7. That was real pleasant; Because I'm such a loser, with no job et al, I normally sleep til about 1 in the afternoon.
She got me up at seven so I could help her put a new mat on the trampoline for my sister. (The mat is the part you jump on.) We had to disconnect all the rusty, stubborn springs and then reattach them to the new mat.
Mom had trouble once mat was almost done. At that point, the mat is really stretched, and holds on tight to the last springs. I did most of the work putting the mat back on. That was tougher than taking it off. You have to stretch out the spring, and hook it onto the metal dooohicky on the mat. Not to mention making sure they are spaced right. You can't do one after the other, it's like putting on a tire. If you mess up the spacing, you have to remove that spring and do it again.
When I was done my shoulders were seriously aching, like they were raw, like someone had hammered a pole through them, front to back.
I considered skipping the gym yesterday as a result of this, and decided to go to weight watcher's instead. As I was getting ready to go, I noticed Mom was heading somewhere as well. Turns out she was heading to the gym at the University I go to. I figured what the hell, and hitched a ride with her.
I've never been to the gym at my college. I've only gone one semester, and I never made the time to hit the gym. I have been inside, just to look around, and it looks nice, but I was in for a surprise.
The first problem I realized was that I didn't bring my mp3 player. No fucking way I'm exercising without my music. Yes, I know they play their music, and sometimes there's a good song, and sometimes you're listening to bullshit, and it's not loud enough to keep my mind occupied anyway. Mom has an iPod, but the screen doesn't work and it was repeating all Al Green songs. I like Al Green, but not over and over and over.
I decided I would figure it out, and we went inside. I flashed my card and she filled out a form. Since she's an alumni, she gets a nice discount. For me, it's free.
I realized quickly that this place is nothing like my Dad's gym. For one thing, at Dad's gym, the towels are complimentary. All of them - handtowels, washcloths and large towel for after your shower. At the University gym, you can rent a hand towel. That's it. Otherwise, you bring your own.
You gotta rent a lock too, or bring your own, or you ca n just leave it up to luck that you're szhit won't get stolen. The lockers aren't big enough for my bag, which is really a small suitcase. I know that sounds like a woman thing, but I not only keep my workout clothes in there, but my sneakers in the there and my swimming clothes and sandals for walking around the locker room and shower. I need some room. And this bag wasn't going to fit, and I wasn't leaving it out. Also, I had no towel with me and I wasn't going to work out and then not shower!
So, I met up with Mom and told her I wasn't going to work out. She wasn't happy about this, and we argued about it. She offered to let me use her towel, and she would shower when she got home. She offered to rent me a lock and a towel. Still no dice. I sat down and started fiddling with the iPod, I got it to change bands, I could get it to go on shuffle. It just kept repeating bands.
Mom found me again and offered to wait for me outside the locker room, and put my bag in her car while we worked out, then bring it back in again when we were done. (For the record, my mom is a saint!) That did it. Except for the iPod. She fiddled with it for a minutes, and managed to get it on shuffle, without a screen, even!
The worst part about that is when I got down to the locker room and started changing, I realized that in the pocket of my workout shorts, was my mp3 player.
The workout was ok. I was already a little sore, especially in my shoulders, but I grinned and bore it. I finished mine well before mom finished hers. My middle walk (the main one) broke 8 minutes, so things are pretty much back to normal. I just needed to hold back a little and not push it.
The equipment at this gym is different than Dad's, though. In between walks on the treadmill, at Dad's gym, I use a set of machines that use air pressure instead of weights. They didn't have that at the U(University) Gym and I really didn't know what to do in between sets. I just sat there until I was ready to hop on again. As a result my workout went even faster than normal.
I will say this though - the treadmills are better at the U Gym. At Dad's gym the treadmill's track is narrow, and my feet keep rubbing the sides, and threatening to rip up the hard plastic that borders the tread.
At the U Gym, the track is wide, nice and wide, the whole machine is, and my thighs never bump into the side, a problem I have at Dad's gym, as it causes my mp3 player to skip to the next song.
So there was an upside. The locker room was the biggest downside. To begin with, it stunk. At Dad's gym, they go out of their way to make it seem like any other room, with a normal smell. At the U Gym, I felt like I was back in High School again.
I went into the shower and found that they had a handicap shower, which is good. I can sit down for my shower. But no soap. And I didn't bring any. What a bitch!
So I just washed real good with water, and laid a little heavy on the Axe deoderant. As I left though, something caught my eye in the shower area. All the shower spots had soap dispensers, like the ones by the sink in public restrooms, all of them, except the handicap one!
I mentioned it at the front desk, I assume that will be remedied soon.
Not a bad deal, but I was truly sore last night, and more than happy to go to bed around midnight.
I woke up at 8AM today feeling pretty good. I checked my account online, and the money has shown! But only half of it. But half is something. It allows me a haircut, shopping, etc.
It has gone to a lot of good use today. And there's still some left.
I talked to unemployment. They don't know why the other half didn't go through, they are going to try and push it through.
I went to Weight Watchers this morning. The last time I went was last month and I've lost 5 pounds since then. (My official weight, again being 528.6 lbs.)
I also bought a tape measure. That's the other feature. Periodically, maybe every week, I will measure my waist. Maybe other parts too! (Don't be dirty, I meant like my legs and my chest.)
It was tough finding the right tape measure. mostly they only came in sewing kits and the longest one was only 5 feet long. (Riiiight...ONLY 5 FEET!) But I found one that was sold alone, that was 10 feet long, and I got that. Standing up, my waist is 69 inches around. Tha t's about 5 feet, 9 inches. Around. Interestingly enough, I'm only 6ft tall, which means I'm only about 3 inches taller than I am round. Pretty fucking sad. But the whole point is to see the numbers go down, right?
Or maybe for you folks out there, see them go up. Until one day, you just don't hear from me anymore, because I'm dead.
My family gets on my case all the time about smoking. I used to smoke cigarettes, now I smoke cigars. They get upset about my drinking too! I tell them, do you really think smoking can kill me? Drinking? They have my weight to contend with, and my weight's kicking the shit out of them. I'll die from my weight LONG BEFORE drinking or smoking!
Monday, June 22, 2009
So I made it back to the gym today. I must say, not one of my red letter days. On the up side, the hot tub was working (finallly!), on the down side, it was rather busy upstairs and when I got on the treadmill for my main walk I only did 6 minutes. Last time I did something like 7 and a half, but this time I only did 6. In the park the other day I did over 8 minutes! So why only six this time!?!?
I'll chalk it up to how hard I pushed myself. I was dying to get off at 5 and it really hurt to go the extra minute.
I started pushing the speed and the walking on the treadmill without holding on, which makes me walk faster.
So I'm not too concerned, I'm going back Wednesday and I'm going to take it easy; not too easy, just not going over level 2, and not even getting there till I'm a few minutes away from stopping.
I want to get back over level 8.
Making matters worse today, there were just too many people there for my cooldown, which is usually another 5 minutes on the treadmill. But those were all taken up, so I did a lap on the track around the gym.
I also had gotten there early enough to take part in the aquarobics class. I'm going to try and make an effort to be even earlier, so that I can be in the pool before the class starts.
I found out the locker rental will be 35 dollars a month. They have a 25 dollar one that is smaller (much) but I need the room, I'll be keeping my workout clothes and my swimming clothes, along with sneakers and sandals and such in there.
I also need to get to Weight Watchers. I wanted to last week but I didn't. So I'm going tomorrow. Again, I have to work everything into a schedule.
I'll chalk it up to how hard I pushed myself. I was dying to get off at 5 and it really hurt to go the extra minute.
I started pushing the speed and the walking on the treadmill without holding on, which makes me walk faster.
So I'm not too concerned, I'm going back Wednesday and I'm going to take it easy; not too easy, just not going over level 2, and not even getting there till I'm a few minutes away from stopping.
I want to get back over level 8.
Making matters worse today, there were just too many people there for my cooldown, which is usually another 5 minutes on the treadmill. But those were all taken up, so I did a lap on the track around the gym.
I also had gotten there early enough to take part in the aquarobics class. I'm going to try and make an effort to be even earlier, so that I can be in the pool before the class starts.
I found out the locker rental will be 35 dollars a month. They have a 25 dollar one that is smaller (much) but I need the room, I'll be keeping my workout clothes and my swimming clothes, along with sneakers and sandals and such in there.
I also need to get to Weight Watchers. I wanted to last week but I didn't. So I'm going tomorrow. Again, I have to work everything into a schedule.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Taking the show on the road
I finally emptied the back of my truck at the dump today. When I look in the rear-view mirror, I can actually see what's behind my truck!
Part of me wanted to go to the gym and work out, but it was a little too late. The pool closes at 5PM on Saturdays and it was around 4PM. So, I decided to try walking in the park. I wasn't sure about it. I don't like treadmills much, but on the treadmill, I can hold on the the bar. I can put some weight on the bars if I need to. Walking, your just walking.
So I headed down to the park. I hadn't really thought it through. I didn't think about taking a warm up walk, or a cool down. I just went walking. I didn't even time it, but I know it was an eight minute walk from the songs I listened to (8 minutes and some change). That's not bad. Better than my time previously (7 minutes). I would have walked again but the rain started really coming down.
Not sure if I'm going to the gym tomorrow. I know I won't be able to get in the pool, and I don't know if they fixed the hot tub yet.
I'll be there on Monday for sure.
Part of me wanted to go to the gym and work out, but it was a little too late. The pool closes at 5PM on Saturdays and it was around 4PM. So, I decided to try walking in the park. I wasn't sure about it. I don't like treadmills much, but on the treadmill, I can hold on the the bar. I can put some weight on the bars if I need to. Walking, your just walking.
So I headed down to the park. I hadn't really thought it through. I didn't think about taking a warm up walk, or a cool down. I just went walking. I didn't even time it, but I know it was an eight minute walk from the songs I listened to (8 minutes and some change). That's not bad. Better than my time previously (7 minutes). I would have walked again but the rain started really coming down.
Not sure if I'm going to the gym tomorrow. I know I won't be able to get in the pool, and I don't know if they fixed the hot tub yet.
I'll be there on Monday for sure.
Friday, June 19, 2009
A fairly produtive day
Well, I was up all night last night because I was expecting an important call this morning, and I didn't want to miss it. (I typically don't wake up until after 11AM) I made it until between 7:30 and 8AM before I laid down for a nap. The call wasn't coming until 10:30. I managed to wake up right in time for the call.
That went well, starting off a rather good day. I watched some of the first Season of Dexter with my sister (I hate TV, but I LOVE that show!) and went back to sleep for a few hours.
Where I live, there is no trash pickup. Instead, we have to take our garbage to the local dump. Sounds like total BS, but in reality, our house is pretty far off the street and if we did have local pickup, we'd have to schlep the trash out to the road every week. Taking care of it myself might be the better idea.
So, I get up around 3PM, start getting the trash loaded into the back of my truck. Like I don't have enough shit back there already. I swear, I should just play "The Streetbeater" whenever I drive it.
I got to the dump, and both compactors were full already. That means I can't get rid of my trash. It's still sitting in the back of my truck! Fuck!
Had to go to the hospital to get bloodwork done. The good news is this. I had to get some tests done there back in January, because my college requires that a lot of immunizations that are out of date for me be done. So I went there to see if some sort of antibodies were present, which would mean I don't need the shot. Since my Doctor is a friend of the family and treats me for free (and was giving me the immunizations for free) I was obliged to get the tests done for him, so he didn't have to waste a shot.
But when I was there it was a pain getting to Outpatient. It's seemed like a VERY long walk, which I had to stop in the middle of and rest. Not today. Made it right on down there, barely winded. Didn't seem very long either. Exagerrative memory. I coined that term. It's mine. So don't fucking touch it!
After that I HAD TO EAT! I hadn't eaten since 1 in the morning, I think. I knew I would be getting tests done and you have to fast for them. I don't believe in the magical midnight bullshit (whatever you do, don't eat or drink after midnight!) but I do know you need at least 8 hours or so of an empty stomach.
So by the time they pulled pulled the needle out of my arm and I filled the little cup, and I was just starved. I'd brought along a snack, because I knew I was going to wolf it down, but it wasn't enough. Thankfully, I had ten bucks on me.
What to do with ten dollars? Well, I knew I needed to be out by the mall anyway. There is a Sprint store there and I had to take care of something there. Sonic isn't too far away. But Sonic's food is only so-so. Their drinks are really where it's at and I wasn't all that thirsty. Just famished!
none of the fast food places really interested me. had it been Wednesday, I might have hit Arby's, because they had some free food deal going on there. I imagine I would have hit them twice!
But not today.
The best idea I could come up with was the Chinese place in the mall. Great food. I don't like that they charge you more if you get two or three items. I know, that sounds silly. If you get two or three items, you're getting more, right? This place is like Panda Express. You get a plate or a container. They fill half your dish with rice or lo mein. If you want half and half, it costs a dollar extra. Then in the other ha;f, they put the food you want. General's Chicken, or Beef and Broccoli, for example.
I like a little variety. One type of food is somewhere around 4.50. (Not a bad deal, really!) They don't fill the whole container, but almost. If you get two foods (this means, you might get general's chicken AND beef and broccoli) it costs around 5.75. But you don't get much more food. They barely fill the container at that point. If you want three, for example, today I got General's chicken, Spicy Chicken, and Curry Chicken, that costs about 7 bucks. And they fill up the container. The difference in amount between the three options is very small. It's all about the variety. The two and three food platters are a rip off. Better to order two separate platters.
Since I wanted all three, and I was on a tight budget, I had to settle with what I got, and shrimp fried rice, which cost another dollar, since I was adding shrimp. In addition, they don't have free refills on sodas. Really! They don't do that! But Saladworks, next door, they have free refills!
So, I took my food over to Saladworks and bought a soda. Free refills.
Now some of you might wonder, since I'm trying to lose weight, why not eat at Saladworks? I've seen their nutritional information. They're not that great. Problem is, there's all kinds of wonderful things to put on your salad, and with each thing, your salad become less and less good for you. How many kind of cheese do they have for chrissake? And their dressings - no good.
I'm sure most of their possibilities are better than the chinese food I had, but not all that much, and I really enjoyed the chinese food. I knew what I was getting into, and I was ok with it. Had I gotten a salad there, I would not have been happy. I like salads. But I feel like Saladworks is just a scam.
I really didn't get any real exercise in today. I almost got into a fight, that would have been some good exercise. I had to run down to the bodega for my Dad and run an errand for my mom. I stopped at the shop and told the folks there what I needed, and then left to go take care of my mom, stopping at the store on the way back to pick up my order.
When I first pulled in (the first time) there was a truck parked there taking up two spots. Right in front of the door. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Where my parents live is a really nice area. Farming area. Bumblefuck Nowhere. But just a mile down the road (where the Bodega is) is an area that tries to be more urban. The local ghetto is down there. It's still Bumble, most people have never heard of the township we live in, but these kids want to act like they live in Camden or Watts or something. So they act fucking ignorant and inconsiderate. Because to them, that's being badass. Many of them have warrants. But a lot of the remind me of the subject of "Pretty Fly for a White Guy". (Though, these are mostly black kids we are talking about. These guys are all wannabes to me. And the white kids that pull that shit are even more pathetic.)
So I go inside, just shaking my head. The guys that run Franco's make a fucking mint doing it. But the worst part about working there is catering to some of the unsavory characters that come in. It's all about taking their money.
So I walk in just shaking my head. I thought about having a word with the driver, realizing that his vocabulary was probably limited, but saw that he was not present, instead just a real "pleasant" looking guy was sitting in the passenger seat, looking like he thinks he shot Tupac.
The girl behind the counter commiserated with me, and asked what they'd done. I told her and she asked why I didn't tell them off. I wasn't sure what good she thought it would do. Would they look down at the ground, and realize their error, and apologize profusely? I wouldn't quite do that, but if someone pointed out I'd made as bad a parking job as these guys did, I'd at least say acknowledge it and give some kind of apology. "Yeah, my bad". Is this what she thought would happen? Really?
So I placed my order, walked outside, and the driver was getting in. I figured, ok, let's see what'll happen. I asked the guy "Hey, did you park this truck?" He jumped out immediately, giving me "You got a fucking problem!?!?!" line. I told him "yeah, I figure if you'd tried hard enough, you could have taken up three parking spaces instead of just two." That was pretty diplomatic, for me. Suddenly they are all out of the car yelling and screaming, pulling the intimidation bullshit.
Now, the truth of the matter is, even though they're a bunch of fucking wannabes, and they ain't shit compares to the real crackhead, murderous motherfucker's from real ghettos, there were five of them. And five of just about anything is enough to whip one person's ass. Especially if those five people had weapons and the one didn't. I don't know if they did or not. I do know they've got records. And a few of them, I heard, have warrants. One of them tried getting up close and personal. Wanted to know what the fuck my problem was. (sound familiar?) I had been walking to my truck. Not letting them intimidate me, by running, but letting them think they might be, by continuing to walk. I was at my truck, but instead of trying to get in, I stopped fast and turned on them. "Your buddy parked like an moron, and now he's acting like one. That's my problem." I turned and open the door to my truck, starting to get in. They were all yelling about what they were going to do to me and so on and so forth, when I stepped back out of my truck. "OK, shoot me. You're so goddamn tough, you must have a gun in there somewhere, shoot me right here." They all shut up. Then the talking again about how they were going to fuck me up and cracker motherfucker, etc...
So I told them "OK, so come here and kick the shit out of me, all five of you, let's go, right now." Someone said something about a racial slur. "I didn't use a racial slur. I didn't even curse at you. I'm not so stupid that I need to. Now come on over here and kill me if you're so bad."
That kept on yelling, cursing and making suggestions about what I should, and they'd like to do to my mother. As they got back in their truck, still yelling out the window, as they backed the truck up and pulled out of the parking lot.
Fat lot of good that shit did. I got called a fat fuck by a guy that was almost as fat as I am. And for a few minutes, I thought I might actually be taking another trip to the hospital. I'm actually a little disappointed.
Anyway, that was about it for the day. Nothing much else worth mentioning. I might make it out to Weight Watcher's tomorrow, and since I didn't get to the gym today, I want to go tomorrow.
I'll let you know (you who? Like anybody's fucking reading this shit.) how that goes.
That went well, starting off a rather good day. I watched some of the first Season of Dexter with my sister (I hate TV, but I LOVE that show!) and went back to sleep for a few hours.
Where I live, there is no trash pickup. Instead, we have to take our garbage to the local dump. Sounds like total BS, but in reality, our house is pretty far off the street and if we did have local pickup, we'd have to schlep the trash out to the road every week. Taking care of it myself might be the better idea.
So, I get up around 3PM, start getting the trash loaded into the back of my truck. Like I don't have enough shit back there already. I swear, I should just play "The Streetbeater" whenever I drive it.
I got to the dump, and both compactors were full already. That means I can't get rid of my trash. It's still sitting in the back of my truck! Fuck!
Had to go to the hospital to get bloodwork done. The good news is this. I had to get some tests done there back in January, because my college requires that a lot of immunizations that are out of date for me be done. So I went there to see if some sort of antibodies were present, which would mean I don't need the shot. Since my Doctor is a friend of the family and treats me for free (and was giving me the immunizations for free) I was obliged to get the tests done for him, so he didn't have to waste a shot.
But when I was there it was a pain getting to Outpatient. It's seemed like a VERY long walk, which I had to stop in the middle of and rest. Not today. Made it right on down there, barely winded. Didn't seem very long either. Exagerrative memory. I coined that term. It's mine. So don't fucking touch it!
After that I HAD TO EAT! I hadn't eaten since 1 in the morning, I think. I knew I would be getting tests done and you have to fast for them. I don't believe in the magical midnight bullshit (whatever you do, don't eat or drink after midnight!) but I do know you need at least 8 hours or so of an empty stomach.
So by the time they pulled pulled the needle out of my arm and I filled the little cup, and I was just starved. I'd brought along a snack, because I knew I was going to wolf it down, but it wasn't enough. Thankfully, I had ten bucks on me.
What to do with ten dollars? Well, I knew I needed to be out by the mall anyway. There is a Sprint store there and I had to take care of something there. Sonic isn't too far away. But Sonic's food is only so-so. Their drinks are really where it's at and I wasn't all that thirsty. Just famished!
none of the fast food places really interested me. had it been Wednesday, I might have hit Arby's, because they had some free food deal going on there. I imagine I would have hit them twice!
But not today.
The best idea I could come up with was the Chinese place in the mall. Great food. I don't like that they charge you more if you get two or three items. I know, that sounds silly. If you get two or three items, you're getting more, right? This place is like Panda Express. You get a plate or a container. They fill half your dish with rice or lo mein. If you want half and half, it costs a dollar extra. Then in the other ha;f, they put the food you want. General's Chicken, or Beef and Broccoli, for example.
I like a little variety. One type of food is somewhere around 4.50. (Not a bad deal, really!) They don't fill the whole container, but almost. If you get two foods (this means, you might get general's chicken AND beef and broccoli) it costs around 5.75. But you don't get much more food. They barely fill the container at that point. If you want three, for example, today I got General's chicken, Spicy Chicken, and Curry Chicken, that costs about 7 bucks. And they fill up the container. The difference in amount between the three options is very small. It's all about the variety. The two and three food platters are a rip off. Better to order two separate platters.
Since I wanted all three, and I was on a tight budget, I had to settle with what I got, and shrimp fried rice, which cost another dollar, since I was adding shrimp. In addition, they don't have free refills on sodas. Really! They don't do that! But Saladworks, next door, they have free refills!
So, I took my food over to Saladworks and bought a soda. Free refills.
Now some of you might wonder, since I'm trying to lose weight, why not eat at Saladworks? I've seen their nutritional information. They're not that great. Problem is, there's all kinds of wonderful things to put on your salad, and with each thing, your salad become less and less good for you. How many kind of cheese do they have for chrissake? And their dressings - no good.
I'm sure most of their possibilities are better than the chinese food I had, but not all that much, and I really enjoyed the chinese food. I knew what I was getting into, and I was ok with it. Had I gotten a salad there, I would not have been happy. I like salads. But I feel like Saladworks is just a scam.
I really didn't get any real exercise in today. I almost got into a fight, that would have been some good exercise. I had to run down to the bodega for my Dad and run an errand for my mom. I stopped at the shop and told the folks there what I needed, and then left to go take care of my mom, stopping at the store on the way back to pick up my order.
When I first pulled in (the first time) there was a truck parked there taking up two spots. Right in front of the door. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Where my parents live is a really nice area. Farming area. Bumblefuck Nowhere. But just a mile down the road (where the Bodega is) is an area that tries to be more urban. The local ghetto is down there. It's still Bumble, most people have never heard of the township we live in, but these kids want to act like they live in Camden or Watts or something. So they act fucking ignorant and inconsiderate. Because to them, that's being badass. Many of them have warrants. But a lot of the remind me of the subject of "Pretty Fly for a White Guy". (Though, these are mostly black kids we are talking about. These guys are all wannabes to me. And the white kids that pull that shit are even more pathetic.)
So I go inside, just shaking my head. The guys that run Franco's make a fucking mint doing it. But the worst part about working there is catering to some of the unsavory characters that come in. It's all about taking their money.
So I walk in just shaking my head. I thought about having a word with the driver, realizing that his vocabulary was probably limited, but saw that he was not present, instead just a real "pleasant" looking guy was sitting in the passenger seat, looking like he thinks he shot Tupac.
The girl behind the counter commiserated with me, and asked what they'd done. I told her and she asked why I didn't tell them off. I wasn't sure what good she thought it would do. Would they look down at the ground, and realize their error, and apologize profusely? I wouldn't quite do that, but if someone pointed out I'd made as bad a parking job as these guys did, I'd at least say acknowledge it and give some kind of apology. "Yeah, my bad". Is this what she thought would happen? Really?
So I placed my order, walked outside, and the driver was getting in. I figured, ok, let's see what'll happen. I asked the guy "Hey, did you park this truck?" He jumped out immediately, giving me "You got a fucking problem!?!?!" line. I told him "yeah, I figure if you'd tried hard enough, you could have taken up three parking spaces instead of just two." That was pretty diplomatic, for me. Suddenly they are all out of the car yelling and screaming, pulling the intimidation bullshit.
Now, the truth of the matter is, even though they're a bunch of fucking wannabes, and they ain't shit compares to the real crackhead, murderous motherfucker's from real ghettos, there were five of them. And five of just about anything is enough to whip one person's ass. Especially if those five people had weapons and the one didn't. I don't know if they did or not. I do know they've got records. And a few of them, I heard, have warrants. One of them tried getting up close and personal. Wanted to know what the fuck my problem was. (sound familiar?) I had been walking to my truck. Not letting them intimidate me, by running, but letting them think they might be, by continuing to walk. I was at my truck, but instead of trying to get in, I stopped fast and turned on them. "Your buddy parked like an moron, and now he's acting like one. That's my problem." I turned and open the door to my truck, starting to get in. They were all yelling about what they were going to do to me and so on and so forth, when I stepped back out of my truck. "OK, shoot me. You're so goddamn tough, you must have a gun in there somewhere, shoot me right here." They all shut up. Then the talking again about how they were going to fuck me up and cracker motherfucker, etc...
So I told them "OK, so come here and kick the shit out of me, all five of you, let's go, right now." Someone said something about a racial slur. "I didn't use a racial slur. I didn't even curse at you. I'm not so stupid that I need to. Now come on over here and kill me if you're so bad."
That kept on yelling, cursing and making suggestions about what I should, and they'd like to do to my mother. As they got back in their truck, still yelling out the window, as they backed the truck up and pulled out of the parking lot.
Fat lot of good that shit did. I got called a fat fuck by a guy that was almost as fat as I am. And for a few minutes, I thought I might actually be taking another trip to the hospital. I'm actually a little disappointed.
Anyway, that was about it for the day. Nothing much else worth mentioning. I might make it out to Weight Watcher's tomorrow, and since I didn't get to the gym today, I want to go tomorrow.
I'll let you know (you who? Like anybody's fucking reading this shit.) how that goes.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Not much regarding weight loss here, but...
Previously, I mentioned that I was planning to skip the workout today. Thursdays I volunteer as a computer teacher. However, the turnout has been bad lately. Real bad. I've only had one guy that shows up regularly. And that's only if I call him to remind him beforehand. It turns out that when it's warm and pleasant out, people have better things to do with their time. So, I've recommended in the past that once this class plays out (it's a 6 week course) that we disband it until fall. Today I got a call from the lady that runs the place. She not only took my suggestion, but offered to let me out of the obligation I had going as well.
Which means I didn't have to teach today! Which means I could have gone to work out. But I didn't. I've been the last two days straight, my shoulder is still a little bit tender from the shot, and when I decide I'm not going to do something, and I end up doing it anyway, I often resent doing it.
So I saw my Doctor today, which is good. He's hooking me up with a nutritionist at the hospital. I don't want someone setting up a diet for me, but what the hell. He also set up a sleep study for me, which I need.
Then I came home and relaxed with the folks. Until 8:30 at least. Karaoke starts at 9PM, so I had to be on my way by 8:30.
That's the other reason I didn't mind skipping the workout. Karaoke gives me a small workout anyway. Of course, I also eat at Karaoke, and I have to admit, it's not the best food. I ordered a Monte Cristo. To begin with, a Monte Cristo sandwich is NOT health food. It has ham and turkey with Swiss. The bread is French Toast. And you dip it in maple syrup. So, yes, not healthy, but my god is it tasty!
Well, it is...when it's done right. First thing that threw me off was that the menu said it was wheat bread. OK...maybe they're trying to be healthy? What they didn't say is that instead of turning that wheat bread into French Toast, they batter it and dump it in a deep fryer, and instead of maple syrup, they use raspberry jam. Jesus.
A lot of their food is like that. I ordered the fish and chips once, I expect that to be fried, but still...it was so thick in the batter department, and so greasy. Jeez. Still, I've never had the real stuff, I've heard over in GB it's like that too.
Anyway...I was saved from the grease menu. I stopped at the grocery store earlier today and picked up some things off the salad bar. In fact, I had a small debate with my mother over the items I got. Mostly salads. She said that was no good. It's salad! Egg salad, seafood salad, shrimp and pasta salad...
But it wasn't much. But it was enough to make me sick as hell. Specifically, the egg salad. Oh dear lord, what was I thinking? It didn't hit til after I got to the bar. Incidentally, I noticed that tonight wasn't much of a workout for me. Maybe it's because I've been going for over a month and am used to it now, or because I have really kicked things up a notch with the gym. Or it might have had to do with the amount of other singers at the bar. I didn't get to sing much tonight. And the songs I sung weren't all that strenuous. Not once did I find myself panting at the end of the song. Not once did I have to lean against something because I'd been standing to long. But holy shit, did I have to use the shitter. It was just awful. If you're wondering how I know it was the egg salad....I'm sure you don't want me to tell you how I knew, as I sat on the porcelain throne, feeling like I was gonna die, I'm sure you don't want me to tell you how I knew.
So, I had nothing but diet cokes and a lot of chips and salsa.
I did fairly well when I did sing, someone even requested a song for me to do (A little help from my friends, by Joe Cocker) which went EXTREMELY well. I surprised myself!
I wasn't the only source of surprise for myself. There was a rather attractive girl at the bar. Not a model, for sure. She was too short for a model. Not nearly thin enough either. She had a nice ass and some love handles too. She carried some weight on the front as well, but
A. Not so bad you'd notice (in other words, wouldn't bother me)
and
B. Nothing anywhere NEAR what I look like, her gut is like 1/100th of mine.
She's got looks, she's dancing around, seems nice enough, and she has a circle on her ass. WTF? A circle on her right back pocket to be precise. It's not sewn in or anything. It's made from whatever's in her back pocket. A perfect circle, sticking out. Just like...a can of dip. You know, snuff tobacco! The finely chopped tobacco in a flavored tobacco juice liquid. The kind that people, men, (at least it's always been men since that I've seen use it, until tonight) tuck into their lower lip. And they spit the juice out.
I've used it before. It's awful. I've known people that use it. I don't understand how people kiss them. It's got to be awful.
And here this girl is doing it right in front of me. Well, maybe not. I'd just seen something that looked like it in her pocket. Then she pulled it out, and she pulled some snuff out of it, and tucked it in her lip. Me and everyone else that saw it cringed in shock.
What was worse was I kept wondering where she was spitting it. Then I saw. She kept a spit cup. Well, that's par for the course. But it was clear, and I saw juice (as if I didn't feel sick enough already) but I didn't see any...clumps. What did she do with them? I scanned the floor. Nothing there. Then I found out. She pulled out the plastic can with one hand, removed the wad of shredded bits of squeezed tobacco from her mouth, and put them BACK IN THE CAN!
YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!
Awful. Just awful.
not sure if I'm going to the gym tomorrow. Have a call coming tomorrow. Very important and it's coming in the morning. Early. Means I need to stay up for the night. If I go to the gym I'll just be dragging my ass.
On the other hand, it wouldn't be a bad idea to do a little walking around the house tomorrow. Outside, that is. Maybe even get a little yardwork in. (A little!)
I need to get into everyday exercise. Making myself more mobile.
I would start walking when I go to the store, but those little electric scooters are much more fun!
Which means I didn't have to teach today! Which means I could have gone to work out. But I didn't. I've been the last two days straight, my shoulder is still a little bit tender from the shot, and when I decide I'm not going to do something, and I end up doing it anyway, I often resent doing it.
So I saw my Doctor today, which is good. He's hooking me up with a nutritionist at the hospital. I don't want someone setting up a diet for me, but what the hell. He also set up a sleep study for me, which I need.
Then I came home and relaxed with the folks. Until 8:30 at least. Karaoke starts at 9PM, so I had to be on my way by 8:30.
That's the other reason I didn't mind skipping the workout. Karaoke gives me a small workout anyway. Of course, I also eat at Karaoke, and I have to admit, it's not the best food. I ordered a Monte Cristo. To begin with, a Monte Cristo sandwich is NOT health food. It has ham and turkey with Swiss. The bread is French Toast. And you dip it in maple syrup. So, yes, not healthy, but my god is it tasty!
Well, it is...when it's done right. First thing that threw me off was that the menu said it was wheat bread. OK...maybe they're trying to be healthy? What they didn't say is that instead of turning that wheat bread into French Toast, they batter it and dump it in a deep fryer, and instead of maple syrup, they use raspberry jam. Jesus.
A lot of their food is like that. I ordered the fish and chips once, I expect that to be fried, but still...it was so thick in the batter department, and so greasy. Jeez. Still, I've never had the real stuff, I've heard over in GB it's like that too.
Anyway...I was saved from the grease menu. I stopped at the grocery store earlier today and picked up some things off the salad bar. In fact, I had a small debate with my mother over the items I got. Mostly salads. She said that was no good. It's salad! Egg salad, seafood salad, shrimp and pasta salad...
But it wasn't much. But it was enough to make me sick as hell. Specifically, the egg salad. Oh dear lord, what was I thinking? It didn't hit til after I got to the bar. Incidentally, I noticed that tonight wasn't much of a workout for me. Maybe it's because I've been going for over a month and am used to it now, or because I have really kicked things up a notch with the gym. Or it might have had to do with the amount of other singers at the bar. I didn't get to sing much tonight. And the songs I sung weren't all that strenuous. Not once did I find myself panting at the end of the song. Not once did I have to lean against something because I'd been standing to long. But holy shit, did I have to use the shitter. It was just awful. If you're wondering how I know it was the egg salad....I'm sure you don't want me to tell you how I knew, as I sat on the porcelain throne, feeling like I was gonna die, I'm sure you don't want me to tell you how I knew.
So, I had nothing but diet cokes and a lot of chips and salsa.
I did fairly well when I did sing, someone even requested a song for me to do (A little help from my friends, by Joe Cocker) which went EXTREMELY well. I surprised myself!
I wasn't the only source of surprise for myself. There was a rather attractive girl at the bar. Not a model, for sure. She was too short for a model. Not nearly thin enough either. She had a nice ass and some love handles too. She carried some weight on the front as well, but
A. Not so bad you'd notice (in other words, wouldn't bother me)
and
B. Nothing anywhere NEAR what I look like, her gut is like 1/100th of mine.
She's got looks, she's dancing around, seems nice enough, and she has a circle on her ass. WTF? A circle on her right back pocket to be precise. It's not sewn in or anything. It's made from whatever's in her back pocket. A perfect circle, sticking out. Just like...a can of dip. You know, snuff tobacco! The finely chopped tobacco in a flavored tobacco juice liquid. The kind that people, men, (at least it's always been men since that I've seen use it, until tonight) tuck into their lower lip. And they spit the juice out.
I've used it before. It's awful. I've known people that use it. I don't understand how people kiss them. It's got to be awful.
And here this girl is doing it right in front of me. Well, maybe not. I'd just seen something that looked like it in her pocket. Then she pulled it out, and she pulled some snuff out of it, and tucked it in her lip. Me and everyone else that saw it cringed in shock.
What was worse was I kept wondering where she was spitting it. Then I saw. She kept a spit cup. Well, that's par for the course. But it was clear, and I saw juice (as if I didn't feel sick enough already) but I didn't see any...clumps. What did she do with them? I scanned the floor. Nothing there. Then I found out. She pulled out the plastic can with one hand, removed the wad of shredded bits of squeezed tobacco from her mouth, and put them BACK IN THE CAN!
YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!
Awful. Just awful.
not sure if I'm going to the gym tomorrow. Have a call coming tomorrow. Very important and it's coming in the morning. Early. Means I need to stay up for the night. If I go to the gym I'll just be dragging my ass.
On the other hand, it wouldn't be a bad idea to do a little walking around the house tomorrow. Outside, that is. Maybe even get a little yardwork in. (A little!)
I need to get into everyday exercise. Making myself more mobile.
I would start walking when I go to the store, but those little electric scooters are much more fun!
Just a quick correction
I just realized tomorrow is Thursday. I can't go to work out. I suppose I could, if I wanted to try and get out of the house really early, but I have to be back in my area before 6PM, because I teach a class on Thursday nights.
So, for now, Thursdays are out. Saturdays too, probably.
In the future, I'll be nixing Mondays and Wednesdays as I will be taking a refresher calculus course on those evenings. I may not need to make that change, I might just go early and get back in time. Have to see.
So tomorrow, if I comment on anything, it will be on karaoke (as Thursday is karaoke night, which is a bit of a workout for me anyway!)
So, for now, Thursdays are out. Saturdays too, probably.
In the future, I'll be nixing Mondays and Wednesdays as I will be taking a refresher calculus course on those evenings. I may not need to make that change, I might just go early and get back in time. Have to see.
So tomorrow, if I comment on anything, it will be on karaoke (as Thursday is karaoke night, which is a bit of a workout for me anyway!)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Getting into a routine
I think a routine is important. In the different parts of our lives, we need routines. In the case of exercise, this is especially true. I don't know how the rest of you do it, perhaps some of you never do the same thing twice. But I'd just feel out of place. A fat fuck like me always feels out of place in a gym to begin with, so a routine is a must.
That said, I also realize how important it is to shake things up from time to time, keep the routine from going stale. You can be afraid to add something new, maybe just as a one time deal, or perhaps as a new addition to the routine.
It's also good to take things out that just don't work. But the good news is that I'm not anywhere near those stages yet. In fact, at this point, I need to get the routine figured out. I have a basic idea of what I want as I pointed out yesterday. Now I need to do it a few times, decide what works and what doesn't, make changes as they are needed.
For example, this late workout bullshit. That's got to go. the gym is open until 10pm. So far, I've showed up after 5 in the evening. I have to go to the desk and hand them my card. This won't have to happen for long. They are very congenial at this gym. They go out of their way to make people feel welcome. One thing they do, if you're a regular, is not make you come to the counter with your card. They recognize you and enter you into the computer manually. Of course, if someone's new, you show them your card. That's simple enough.
Most of them know me already from last year. However, I still have to go to the desk for now, because there was some kind of problem with putting me back into the system. It shouldn't be a problem for long, but I'm not sure how long it will be. It'll be nice when I can go straight to the locker room.
So, I make my detour to the counter, exchange pleasantries, then head to the locker room. In here I have to pick a locker. I'm not what one would call brazen when it comes to displaying my naked body. In fact, the worst part about being a truck driver was having to go through a physical. There are lockers that are right out in the open...not for me. My locker has always been one of the ones that are closest to being out of sight from the rest of the place. Then I have to get things situated. Finding the locker usually doesn't take long. Getting situated does. I have to get everything out of my bag. I have workout clothes, swimming clothes, deodorant, sneakers (with socks), sandals, a baseball cap, and my mp3 player.
So, I get everything in order and get dressed. I then make my way out to the lobby. I could just hop on the elevator and go up to the workout floor, but I have to go back to the counter. Water costs a buck fifty. Plus I like mine nice and cold, so I have to ask for ice, which someone has to get, which I have to put in my water. Then I go up.
And then...hopefully I didn't forget anything, like my cap, or my mp3 player. I used to bring my pen up with me, because I don't like using...well,m not just pencil. I don't like pencils, but I don't like using any pens but mine. But, I can't tell you how many times I ran back down to the locker room to get my pen. And once, I had to run down twice. I went to get my pen, left my water behind. Went back for it, started to come back up, realized I'd left my hat and just said fuck it. That was it, game over. It wasn't the last time I went or anything. I just gave up for the day. Pitiful.
So I know what I'm like. I can try to change that by just not being like that, but I've tried it before and have found it to be an exercise in futility. I'd rather figure out my weaknesses and work out how to get past them. So now, I use a their pencil. Granted, that still leaves a cap, mp3 player, and water bottle to worry about, but still, that's 3 things and not 4.
I have a few solutions I plan to put into effect. For one thing, I intend to rent a locker. They started offering that last year when I left. Turns out they were offering them for $25 a month. Not a bad deal, really. I'm going to see if I can't get it for 20.
Also, I have a fix for the water problem. I know this probably sounds silly, but I really want to get upstairs, as a fast as possible, and get the workout started. So, the water. I used to like using a 32 oz gatorade bottle for water, along with two mix in packets, and some ice. What I figure I'll do is make one up each day, and put some ice in a small cooler. Drop the ice in the bottle before going in, and I've got a good cold one for the workout.
This way I can keep most of my stuff at the gym, my water's all ready before I even get in there and all I really have to do is change my clothes.
The locker situation will help when I get done with my workout as well, as I want to get into the pool as fast as possible. In fact, that's one of the main reasons I want to get there earlier. The pool closes at 8 and these past few days I've only had 20 minutes in the pool. To make things worse, the hot tub isn't working. (That should be fixed soon as well) So I spend as much time as I can in the therapy (heated) pool, and when they kick me out, I move right into the steam room.
The other problem is that when I'm leave, then what? I figured I would go to the cigar store and spend some time there, enjoying myself. But they normally close after 10PM (well after, some nights). Tonight and last night I was there a little after 9. But they were closed already. Thus ends my night.
That's gotta stop.
Anyway, I made a mistake earlier about yesterday's workout. My first run on the treadmill lasted 4 minutes, not 5. So that was 16 minutes total, not 17.
Today I did my first lap around the gym, then hopped on the treadmill and did 5 minutes. I did my "lifting" (I'll get back to that) and did 7 and a half, and I got up to level 2 on the speed. Some more lifting later I did my cool down, measuring another 5 minutes, pushing myself a little toward the end.
I'm happy about the treadmill today. It felt good to get on there and I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
As for the lifting in between, I was a little worried! I did 3 reps of ten on each machine last time (except the one where I did 1 rep of 15 and two reps of 10) and had little trouble. And why should I have trouble? I've got the minimum on each machine! I'm just doing it to get my arms moving, to get my body moving. But for some reason, on the first machine, (which would normally be the military press, but someone jumped on it before I could, so it was the chicken wing instead) I was having a little trouble. I think I did all the reps as before there, but when I got on the military press, I was really having trouble, right in my shoulder. My right shoulder. Why was it bothering me? I had to cut the reps short. I still did three, but the amount in each rep was different. It was almost the same with the others, except I ended up adding weight to one of the machines. I didn't seem to have trouble there.
It had me worried, but it finally occurred to me at the end, that the reason my arm was hurting was because I just got a shot there today! Right before I went to the gym no less! Right on my right shoulder! Well, no fucking wonder! I'm fat, a loser, and a dumbass!
So for the next few days, it will be touch and go with the lifting. I'll still do it, but how much depends on the arm. If it doesn't bother me at all tomorrow, then great! Back to the program!
So there's my progress. Tomorrow, I intend to go back and try again, earlier, and perhaps even take an evening aquarobics class.
That said, I also realize how important it is to shake things up from time to time, keep the routine from going stale. You can be afraid to add something new, maybe just as a one time deal, or perhaps as a new addition to the routine.
It's also good to take things out that just don't work. But the good news is that I'm not anywhere near those stages yet. In fact, at this point, I need to get the routine figured out. I have a basic idea of what I want as I pointed out yesterday. Now I need to do it a few times, decide what works and what doesn't, make changes as they are needed.
For example, this late workout bullshit. That's got to go. the gym is open until 10pm. So far, I've showed up after 5 in the evening. I have to go to the desk and hand them my card. This won't have to happen for long. They are very congenial at this gym. They go out of their way to make people feel welcome. One thing they do, if you're a regular, is not make you come to the counter with your card. They recognize you and enter you into the computer manually. Of course, if someone's new, you show them your card. That's simple enough.
Most of them know me already from last year. However, I still have to go to the desk for now, because there was some kind of problem with putting me back into the system. It shouldn't be a problem for long, but I'm not sure how long it will be. It'll be nice when I can go straight to the locker room.
So, I make my detour to the counter, exchange pleasantries, then head to the locker room. In here I have to pick a locker. I'm not what one would call brazen when it comes to displaying my naked body. In fact, the worst part about being a truck driver was having to go through a physical. There are lockers that are right out in the open...not for me. My locker has always been one of the ones that are closest to being out of sight from the rest of the place. Then I have to get things situated. Finding the locker usually doesn't take long. Getting situated does. I have to get everything out of my bag. I have workout clothes, swimming clothes, deodorant, sneakers (with socks), sandals, a baseball cap, and my mp3 player.
So, I get everything in order and get dressed. I then make my way out to the lobby. I could just hop on the elevator and go up to the workout floor, but I have to go back to the counter. Water costs a buck fifty. Plus I like mine nice and cold, so I have to ask for ice, which someone has to get, which I have to put in my water. Then I go up.
And then...hopefully I didn't forget anything, like my cap, or my mp3 player. I used to bring my pen up with me, because I don't like using...well,m not just pencil. I don't like pencils, but I don't like using any pens but mine. But, I can't tell you how many times I ran back down to the locker room to get my pen. And once, I had to run down twice. I went to get my pen, left my water behind. Went back for it, started to come back up, realized I'd left my hat and just said fuck it. That was it, game over. It wasn't the last time I went or anything. I just gave up for the day. Pitiful.
So I know what I'm like. I can try to change that by just not being like that, but I've tried it before and have found it to be an exercise in futility. I'd rather figure out my weaknesses and work out how to get past them. So now, I use a their pencil. Granted, that still leaves a cap, mp3 player, and water bottle to worry about, but still, that's 3 things and not 4.
I have a few solutions I plan to put into effect. For one thing, I intend to rent a locker. They started offering that last year when I left. Turns out they were offering them for $25 a month. Not a bad deal, really. I'm going to see if I can't get it for 20.
Also, I have a fix for the water problem. I know this probably sounds silly, but I really want to get upstairs, as a fast as possible, and get the workout started. So, the water. I used to like using a 32 oz gatorade bottle for water, along with two mix in packets, and some ice. What I figure I'll do is make one up each day, and put some ice in a small cooler. Drop the ice in the bottle before going in, and I've got a good cold one for the workout.
This way I can keep most of my stuff at the gym, my water's all ready before I even get in there and all I really have to do is change my clothes.
The locker situation will help when I get done with my workout as well, as I want to get into the pool as fast as possible. In fact, that's one of the main reasons I want to get there earlier. The pool closes at 8 and these past few days I've only had 20 minutes in the pool. To make things worse, the hot tub isn't working. (That should be fixed soon as well) So I spend as much time as I can in the therapy (heated) pool, and when they kick me out, I move right into the steam room.
The other problem is that when I'm leave, then what? I figured I would go to the cigar store and spend some time there, enjoying myself. But they normally close after 10PM (well after, some nights). Tonight and last night I was there a little after 9. But they were closed already. Thus ends my night.
That's gotta stop.
Anyway, I made a mistake earlier about yesterday's workout. My first run on the treadmill lasted 4 minutes, not 5. So that was 16 minutes total, not 17.
Today I did my first lap around the gym, then hopped on the treadmill and did 5 minutes. I did my "lifting" (I'll get back to that) and did 7 and a half, and I got up to level 2 on the speed. Some more lifting later I did my cool down, measuring another 5 minutes, pushing myself a little toward the end.
I'm happy about the treadmill today. It felt good to get on there and I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
As for the lifting in between, I was a little worried! I did 3 reps of ten on each machine last time (except the one where I did 1 rep of 15 and two reps of 10) and had little trouble. And why should I have trouble? I've got the minimum on each machine! I'm just doing it to get my arms moving, to get my body moving. But for some reason, on the first machine, (which would normally be the military press, but someone jumped on it before I could, so it was the chicken wing instead) I was having a little trouble. I think I did all the reps as before there, but when I got on the military press, I was really having trouble, right in my shoulder. My right shoulder. Why was it bothering me? I had to cut the reps short. I still did three, but the amount in each rep was different. It was almost the same with the others, except I ended up adding weight to one of the machines. I didn't seem to have trouble there.
It had me worried, but it finally occurred to me at the end, that the reason my arm was hurting was because I just got a shot there today! Right before I went to the gym no less! Right on my right shoulder! Well, no fucking wonder! I'm fat, a loser, and a dumbass!
So for the next few days, it will be touch and go with the lifting. I'll still do it, but how much depends on the arm. If it doesn't bother me at all tomorrow, then great! Back to the program!
So there's my progress. Tomorrow, I intend to go back and try again, earlier, and perhaps even take an evening aquarobics class.
First Day back at the gym.
Yesterday was really my first day back at the gym. But I didn't comment on it because honestly, that post was long enough already! This is the same gym I went to last year. I stopped going in November. By that time, I had only been going there to swim, I had given up already on working out, for a few months.
I'm going back about the same time I started there last year. Naturally, I don't want to give up by September, or abandon it all by November again. I want to keep going until next summer (and beyond...)
One might guess from my first post that I have a "Just do it!" kind of attitude. In truth, I feel that my situation is my own fault. But I'm not going to lie to myself and pretend that I can just up and change my situation with sheer determination. I can't. There are people that say you can, and they are some silly folks. My father likes to pretend that. He'll sit there and just suggest that I starve myself, that'll work! The sad thing is he's serious. He even tries it. He'll not eat all day. And my god, is he ever a self-righteous bastard when he does it! Of course, at some point, he gives in and eats, and you know he just stuffs himself as much as he can, which makes the whole effort pointless.
So I just ignore him when he goes on about that bullshit.
I know that I have limitations. I know I have shortcomings. I have to figure out what I did wrong last year, and try not to do that again. I think I really tried to push things a little too far. I had a trainer give me an eval and come up with a workout for me. It included the treadmill and a series of weights and situp machines. We picked a weight for each machine and he assigned me something to the tune of 40 situps on one machine and 80 on the other. (One was easier than the other)
Thing is, I don't really need more muscle. In my arms, maybe. But not in my stomach or my legs. My legs need no more muscle at all. They carry over 500 pounds all day. Honestly, they're fine. They'll get enough of a workout on the treadmill.
In addition, I started doing a warmup routine before my workout that included pushups, situps, and an abwheel. This was not smart at all.
Honestly, every time I went to work out, look at all I put myself through! Jesus!
I don't need situps, and I'm not going to do them right now.
I don't need pushups. Same deal.
I damn sure don't need to use that abwheel.
I worked out a new workout yesterday. I intend to do this 3-4 times a week.
I start with a lap around the gym(there is a track). That's just kind of a small warmup. I get on the treadmill. Not the same one that guy assigned me last year either. He had me on this treadmill that had a tread for each foot. It was a split treadmill and with my size and big feet, it was just a hassle. I'll stick to the normal treadmills, thank you!
So I started off doing 5 minutes. That was tough. I was out of breatha nd my shoulders were aching at 4 minutes. But I pushed it out to 5.
I sat down, gave myself a little break. I then got on the Military Press machine. I'm not interested in building muscle here, it's a matter of movement. So I took the pressure (it's an air pressure machine, made by Keiser, I think.) down as low as it would go(14, I think) and did 3 reps of 10.
Then I got on the next machine, I call it the chicken wing. It's the one where you look like a chicken flapping its wings, you know? I dropped it down to the minimum and did 1 rep of 15 and 2 reps of 10.
After that I got back on the treadmill and did 7 minutes, going up to a speed of 1.6. I was able to go longer, and by the time my shoulders were aching tight, my back was aching too.
I took another break, and went through the rest of the machines that I'm going to use. One is called the biaxial something. I call it the ol' one-two. Because you can do one arm at a time, and it looks like you're punching. Dropped the pressure nice and low and did 3 reps of 10. Then I used the butterfly machine, smae deal, low pressure, 3 reps of 10. Lastly I used the pulldown machine. Again, 3 reps of 10.
Finally, I got back on the treadmill, and did another 5 minutes, only going up to about 1.4 on the speed. I'm going to try and record more information in the future, but for today this is what I have. All told, I did 17 minutes on the treadmill.
I have a goal for this. At some point, I intend to do a full 30 minutes on the treadmill. That's the center set. The first set will be somehwere between 10 and 15 minutes and the third will be the same.
This will give me a good warm up and cool down.
After all this, a nice swim in the pool and soak in the hot tub and steam room.
I think that was another part of the problem before. I showed up and hopped in the pool. Only after the pool did I get up for a workout. Well, you got to dry off, put on the workout clothes go upstairs, then take another shower, and maybe hop back in the pool. Silliness! Not again. When I go, I work out FIRST. Then, I'll hop in the pool. The way I see it, the pool is like dessert. A reward. So there's no point in claiming it before I earn it.
I'm going back today, I'll report on that either tonight or tomorrow.
I'm going back about the same time I started there last year. Naturally, I don't want to give up by September, or abandon it all by November again. I want to keep going until next summer (and beyond...)
One might guess from my first post that I have a "Just do it!" kind of attitude. In truth, I feel that my situation is my own fault. But I'm not going to lie to myself and pretend that I can just up and change my situation with sheer determination. I can't. There are people that say you can, and they are some silly folks. My father likes to pretend that. He'll sit there and just suggest that I starve myself, that'll work! The sad thing is he's serious. He even tries it. He'll not eat all day. And my god, is he ever a self-righteous bastard when he does it! Of course, at some point, he gives in and eats, and you know he just stuffs himself as much as he can, which makes the whole effort pointless.
So I just ignore him when he goes on about that bullshit.
I know that I have limitations. I know I have shortcomings. I have to figure out what I did wrong last year, and try not to do that again. I think I really tried to push things a little too far. I had a trainer give me an eval and come up with a workout for me. It included the treadmill and a series of weights and situp machines. We picked a weight for each machine and he assigned me something to the tune of 40 situps on one machine and 80 on the other. (One was easier than the other)
Thing is, I don't really need more muscle. In my arms, maybe. But not in my stomach or my legs. My legs need no more muscle at all. They carry over 500 pounds all day. Honestly, they're fine. They'll get enough of a workout on the treadmill.
In addition, I started doing a warmup routine before my workout that included pushups, situps, and an abwheel. This was not smart at all.
Honestly, every time I went to work out, look at all I put myself through! Jesus!
I don't need situps, and I'm not going to do them right now.
I don't need pushups. Same deal.
I damn sure don't need to use that abwheel.
I worked out a new workout yesterday. I intend to do this 3-4 times a week.
I start with a lap around the gym(there is a track). That's just kind of a small warmup. I get on the treadmill. Not the same one that guy assigned me last year either. He had me on this treadmill that had a tread for each foot. It was a split treadmill and with my size and big feet, it was just a hassle. I'll stick to the normal treadmills, thank you!
So I started off doing 5 minutes. That was tough. I was out of breatha nd my shoulders were aching at 4 minutes. But I pushed it out to 5.
I sat down, gave myself a little break. I then got on the Military Press machine. I'm not interested in building muscle here, it's a matter of movement. So I took the pressure (it's an air pressure machine, made by Keiser, I think.) down as low as it would go(14, I think) and did 3 reps of 10.
Then I got on the next machine, I call it the chicken wing. It's the one where you look like a chicken flapping its wings, you know? I dropped it down to the minimum and did 1 rep of 15 and 2 reps of 10.
After that I got back on the treadmill and did 7 minutes, going up to a speed of 1.6. I was able to go longer, and by the time my shoulders were aching tight, my back was aching too.
I took another break, and went through the rest of the machines that I'm going to use. One is called the biaxial something. I call it the ol' one-two. Because you can do one arm at a time, and it looks like you're punching. Dropped the pressure nice and low and did 3 reps of 10. Then I used the butterfly machine, smae deal, low pressure, 3 reps of 10. Lastly I used the pulldown machine. Again, 3 reps of 10.
Finally, I got back on the treadmill, and did another 5 minutes, only going up to about 1.4 on the speed. I'm going to try and record more information in the future, but for today this is what I have. All told, I did 17 minutes on the treadmill.
I have a goal for this. At some point, I intend to do a full 30 minutes on the treadmill. That's the center set. The first set will be somehwere between 10 and 15 minutes and the third will be the same.
This will give me a good warm up and cool down.
After all this, a nice swim in the pool and soak in the hot tub and steam room.
I think that was another part of the problem before. I showed up and hopped in the pool. Only after the pool did I get up for a workout. Well, you got to dry off, put on the workout clothes go upstairs, then take another shower, and maybe hop back in the pool. Silliness! Not again. When I go, I work out FIRST. Then, I'll hop in the pool. The way I see it, the pool is like dessert. A reward. So there's no point in claiming it before I earn it.
I'm going back today, I'll report on that either tonight or tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Don't fucking call me "fluffy"!
Hello everyone and welcome. Have a seat, won't you? There's plenty of them, never can have enough chairs. Especially when you're a fat loser. That probably comes off as harsh, just maybe a bit too brash, for some of you. For some reason, any time you call yourself fat, some putz tells you that's a horrible thing to say. Mind you, I didn't say "fat loser", it's just when you call yourself fat. I don't know what it is about it. Obviously there are people that treat fat people like shit, so I imagine that has something to do with it. There is even a fat comedian out there that tells everyone that fat is one of those obsolete words, like colored, and that the proper term (mind you, he just made this shit up) is "fluffy". Don't fucking call me fluffy. Maybe that should have been the title for my blog, instead, we'll just have to settle with it being the title for this particular blog post.
I don't want euphemisms for fat. Fuck that. What good will it do us? OK, I understand in the case of races and nationalities. I understand why the Poles don't want to be called Polocks, and the blacks claim they don't want to be called niggers, (I say claim, because there are quite a few that seem to rather like the word, now aren't there? Until they get their own house in order, perhaps they ought to leave others alone.) and the spanish don't want to be called spics, etc, etc, ditto, ditto...
It's different for all of them, and the reason is rather unpopular. They REALLY were born that way. There's nothing they can do to stop being Polish, black and Spanish, and why should they WANT to? The words that they dislike generally have derogatory connotations that they feel are used to oppress, and no one likes to be oppressed.
In the case of fat people, we really weren't born this way, and even if we were fat babies (I do know someone that has a rather fat baby. Which is odd since no one else in the family is fat, really) it's not like there's nothing we can do about it. There's just about ALWAYS something we can do about it. I know, some fat folks have Thyroid issues, but they also make medication for that! I'm not an expert, and I don't really know anyone going through this, but if they can medicate the problem, doesn't that mean you can lose weight??? Maybe not. I don't know.
I can only speak for myself. I don't have a thyroid problem. The second the possibility was mentioned to me, some years ago, I had it checked out. No thyroid problems. Nobody to blame but myself.
And people tell me I shouldn't call myself fat. Why the hell not? Aren't I? Last time I checked, I was. See, what happened was, I looked in a mirror, and I had to keep backing up to get all of myself in the mirror. And the mirror was fucking huge! THAT MEANS I'M FAT! So why shouldn't I say it? Because it might make me feel bad? Oh boo-hoo!
I notice that some of the same people, if you use the word around them, or especially with them, in hushed tones, about someone else, will giggle. Suddenly they're not so admonishing. Oh, I can say someone else is fat, and has problems, but not myself? What a bunch of horse shit!
So I'm fat. And I'm sick of people telling me I'm not. And I am a loser. No play on words, here's the deal: I weigh over 500 pounds. Not a type, let me prove it - I WEIGH OVER FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS! F-I-V-E, COUNT 'EM! FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS.
I don't have an exact weight for you. I will soon enough.
But that's not all.
I'm unemployed. My last job was a truck driver. That doesn't make me a loser, but I lost that job last year. I am going back to school. That doesn't make me a loser, but I'm 30. That doesn't really make me a loser either. But I'm living at home. Oh, yes, I know, everyone lives at home. But it's not my home, it's MY PARENTS HOME!!! This is their internet connection that I'm using! My bed is in one of their rooms! My pickup truck - they sold it to me! FOR A DOLLAR!
Granted, I know some people that say that just makes me lucky. Well, it is rather nice, and certainly better than I'd be doing on my own, but that still makes me a LOSER!
Don't think so? Here's one for you - I have to ask them for gas money. What would you call that?
So, why should you bother reading? I don't really care. I'd ask why you're still here at this point...but...honestly, I don't care.
I'm not writing this for you. If you read it, think it's funny, learn anything, or find yourself inspired (or some such other bullshit) great. If you leave a comment, that's fine. It's your business.
I'm writing this for me. I want some kind of journaled effort (I was half thinking of calling this "Diary of a Fat Fuck" but I like the Clockwork Orange theme better!) to document my attempts at weight loss. I want something that I can use to help myself stay on track.
See, here's the thing. I think some people believe that maybe there really isn't anything we can do about our weight. So often we say that we've tried and nothing has worked. "I've tried every diet out there!" Well, that's an exaggeration. I'm pretty sure the diet those folks in Ethiopia live on is quite different from anything you or I have tried. (Unless you, the reader, happen to be an Ethiopian. Then I suppose you've probably tried it.)
And then there's those diets that claim that they're not really diets at all. I'll believe you've tried all of those. Why not? It sounds so easy! And what do you really have to lose? so don't be surprised when they don't work.
Of course, one thing that just about every diet says you need to do, in addition to your food consumption is exercise. And just how many of those diets did we combine with exercise? Right....
At this time, I belong to three different gyms. That probably sounds like overkill. I joined my Dad's gym last summer. I hadn't bought his pickup yet, so I didn't have a car and it's an hour drive, so he gave me a ride there and back every day. (He works near there)
So I went most days and I worked out sporadically. I swam a lot. There were two swimming classes in the morning. They were filled with old people. I attended both of them. Then I would...swim, usually. Maybe once or twice I got upstairs for a workout, but usually I just swam.
I stopped going upstairs all together in September, and in November, I stopped going to the gym at all. In the Spring I started college. The University has a really nice gym. As a student, I have a membership there. Dad cancelled the membership at his gym (Oh, didn't I mention he was paying for it? What a loser!), and I was going to start going to the one at the college. I had the truck now, I spent a lot of time at the college, but I never did use the gym. I've signed up for a summer course this summer at a local community college. They have a gym. I'm also a member there, because I'm a student. But I haven't used it yet either.
Oh, last night, I claimed to. I left the house late yesterday. Why late? Because I sleep late. No school or work right now, so I stay up late (I do try to get to sleep earlier, but it doesn't happen well) and I wake up late. Like at least 10 hours after I go to sleep, late. That's right. I'm a loser.
I left to go to the gym at 4 yesterday. Now, I say I have 4 gym memberships because my Dad, nice fellow that he is, started my membership at his gym back up again. It's a SERIOUSLY nice gym. So Left yesterday and decided that I didn't want to deal with the traffic, or Dad's crazy "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" backroads short cuts, so I said fuck it.
Now, I could have gone over to the gym at the local college. It's right down the road. But instead, I went to the cigar shop, had a shot and a beer, turned on a movie, and lit one up.
When I got home, my folks were real interested in hearing how the gym went. I really didn't want to deal with the whole "why didn't you go???" bullshit. If you nag me, it'll just make me want to do it less. And I intended to go to the gym today. So I told them that I hadn't gone to Dad's gym, but the one at the college. When they started to bitch about that ("Why'd I bother putting up the money for my gym if you're just gonna go to that one?!?!) I just kind of blew it off.
So I lied to my parents about going to gym yesterday. Still think I'm not a loser? I don't think it's possible that I'm not, after that.
So I went to the gym today. I really did. Good thing I didn't tell the folks I that I went there yesterday, because it turns out there's a problem with my membership. I had to let Dad know so he can straighten it out tomorrow.
So the purpose of this blog is to record my efforts. I will include my history, some time in the future, to explain how I got here. I think that's important, and since I'm doing this for me, that's what I'm going to do. And if you must read this, you're going to have to get used to words like fat and loser. Because that's what I am. That's why it's in the title.
I don't want euphemisms for fat. Fuck that. What good will it do us? OK, I understand in the case of races and nationalities. I understand why the Poles don't want to be called Polocks, and the blacks claim they don't want to be called niggers, (I say claim, because there are quite a few that seem to rather like the word, now aren't there? Until they get their own house in order, perhaps they ought to leave others alone.) and the spanish don't want to be called spics, etc, etc, ditto, ditto...
It's different for all of them, and the reason is rather unpopular. They REALLY were born that way. There's nothing they can do to stop being Polish, black and Spanish, and why should they WANT to? The words that they dislike generally have derogatory connotations that they feel are used to oppress, and no one likes to be oppressed.
In the case of fat people, we really weren't born this way, and even if we were fat babies (I do know someone that has a rather fat baby. Which is odd since no one else in the family is fat, really) it's not like there's nothing we can do about it. There's just about ALWAYS something we can do about it. I know, some fat folks have Thyroid issues, but they also make medication for that! I'm not an expert, and I don't really know anyone going through this, but if they can medicate the problem, doesn't that mean you can lose weight??? Maybe not. I don't know.
I can only speak for myself. I don't have a thyroid problem. The second the possibility was mentioned to me, some years ago, I had it checked out. No thyroid problems. Nobody to blame but myself.
And people tell me I shouldn't call myself fat. Why the hell not? Aren't I? Last time I checked, I was. See, what happened was, I looked in a mirror, and I had to keep backing up to get all of myself in the mirror. And the mirror was fucking huge! THAT MEANS I'M FAT! So why shouldn't I say it? Because it might make me feel bad? Oh boo-hoo!
I notice that some of the same people, if you use the word around them, or especially with them, in hushed tones, about someone else, will giggle. Suddenly they're not so admonishing. Oh, I can say someone else is fat, and has problems, but not myself? What a bunch of horse shit!
So I'm fat. And I'm sick of people telling me I'm not. And I am a loser. No play on words, here's the deal: I weigh over 500 pounds. Not a type, let me prove it - I WEIGH OVER FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS! F-I-V-E, COUNT 'EM! FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS.
I don't have an exact weight for you. I will soon enough.
But that's not all.
I'm unemployed. My last job was a truck driver. That doesn't make me a loser, but I lost that job last year. I am going back to school. That doesn't make me a loser, but I'm 30. That doesn't really make me a loser either. But I'm living at home. Oh, yes, I know, everyone lives at home. But it's not my home, it's MY PARENTS HOME!!! This is their internet connection that I'm using! My bed is in one of their rooms! My pickup truck - they sold it to me! FOR A DOLLAR!
Granted, I know some people that say that just makes me lucky. Well, it is rather nice, and certainly better than I'd be doing on my own, but that still makes me a LOSER!
Don't think so? Here's one for you - I have to ask them for gas money. What would you call that?
So, why should you bother reading? I don't really care. I'd ask why you're still here at this point...but...honestly, I don't care.
I'm not writing this for you. If you read it, think it's funny, learn anything, or find yourself inspired (or some such other bullshit) great. If you leave a comment, that's fine. It's your business.
I'm writing this for me. I want some kind of journaled effort (I was half thinking of calling this "Diary of a Fat Fuck" but I like the Clockwork Orange theme better!) to document my attempts at weight loss. I want something that I can use to help myself stay on track.
See, here's the thing. I think some people believe that maybe there really isn't anything we can do about our weight. So often we say that we've tried and nothing has worked. "I've tried every diet out there!" Well, that's an exaggeration. I'm pretty sure the diet those folks in Ethiopia live on is quite different from anything you or I have tried. (Unless you, the reader, happen to be an Ethiopian. Then I suppose you've probably tried it.)
And then there's those diets that claim that they're not really diets at all. I'll believe you've tried all of those. Why not? It sounds so easy! And what do you really have to lose? so don't be surprised when they don't work.
Of course, one thing that just about every diet says you need to do, in addition to your food consumption is exercise. And just how many of those diets did we combine with exercise? Right....
At this time, I belong to three different gyms. That probably sounds like overkill. I joined my Dad's gym last summer. I hadn't bought his pickup yet, so I didn't have a car and it's an hour drive, so he gave me a ride there and back every day. (He works near there)
So I went most days and I worked out sporadically. I swam a lot. There were two swimming classes in the morning. They were filled with old people. I attended both of them. Then I would...swim, usually. Maybe once or twice I got upstairs for a workout, but usually I just swam.
I stopped going upstairs all together in September, and in November, I stopped going to the gym at all. In the Spring I started college. The University has a really nice gym. As a student, I have a membership there. Dad cancelled the membership at his gym (Oh, didn't I mention he was paying for it? What a loser!), and I was going to start going to the one at the college. I had the truck now, I spent a lot of time at the college, but I never did use the gym. I've signed up for a summer course this summer at a local community college. They have a gym. I'm also a member there, because I'm a student. But I haven't used it yet either.
Oh, last night, I claimed to. I left the house late yesterday. Why late? Because I sleep late. No school or work right now, so I stay up late (I do try to get to sleep earlier, but it doesn't happen well) and I wake up late. Like at least 10 hours after I go to sleep, late. That's right. I'm a loser.
I left to go to the gym at 4 yesterday. Now, I say I have 4 gym memberships because my Dad, nice fellow that he is, started my membership at his gym back up again. It's a SERIOUSLY nice gym. So Left yesterday and decided that I didn't want to deal with the traffic, or Dad's crazy "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" backroads short cuts, so I said fuck it.
Now, I could have gone over to the gym at the local college. It's right down the road. But instead, I went to the cigar shop, had a shot and a beer, turned on a movie, and lit one up.
When I got home, my folks were real interested in hearing how the gym went. I really didn't want to deal with the whole "why didn't you go???" bullshit. If you nag me, it'll just make me want to do it less. And I intended to go to the gym today. So I told them that I hadn't gone to Dad's gym, but the one at the college. When they started to bitch about that ("Why'd I bother putting up the money for my gym if you're just gonna go to that one?!?!) I just kind of blew it off.
So I lied to my parents about going to gym yesterday. Still think I'm not a loser? I don't think it's possible that I'm not, after that.
So I went to the gym today. I really did. Good thing I didn't tell the folks I that I went there yesterday, because it turns out there's a problem with my membership. I had to let Dad know so he can straighten it out tomorrow.
So the purpose of this blog is to record my efforts. I will include my history, some time in the future, to explain how I got here. I think that's important, and since I'm doing this for me, that's what I'm going to do. And if you must read this, you're going to have to get used to words like fat and loser. Because that's what I am. That's why it's in the title.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
